June: Where Did You Go, Boo?

Somehow it is the last week of June. Not sure how, but the calendar assures me it’s a fact.

Time is relentless. And as I sit here thinking back on the first six months of 2019, it’s all too easy to focus on what’s gone wrong and what I haven’t been able to achieve. So I hope you'll humor me while I look back on the last six months and twist these negative thoughts into positive ones.

1. Of Lies and Zombies turned one!

Topping the list is the book that made me an author times two. There have been moments in the past when I’ve allowed myself to believe only publishing two books over the last decade is some kind of failure. Lately I have been embracing the idea that not only is publishing one story (be it a short story or a fan fiction or a full-length novel) an amazing achievement but writing a story from start to finish is noteworthy too. Every writer who has achieved this goal should take a moment to pat themselves on the back and realize they’ve accomplished something big.

Wherever you are on your writing journey know what you’re working on is worthy and you have achieved so much. Keep moving forward. Write the words. Work toward the goal. You are awesome.

2. Blogging again is a joy.

Getting back into book blogging after years of floundering is so much stinking fun. Sharing my favorite books and talking about the authors I heart is something I have missed. Ultimately it doesn't matter if others think it's a waste of time or believe it's not what authors should be doing. I'm an author. It's what I'm doing. Making it a thing authors do. Fancy that.

3. It’s been a good bookish year (so far).

This year (so far) has been an awesome reading year. I have primarily been reading young adult novels. And why not? I’m a young adult author. The idea that I should be ashamed of my reading habits is so strange. The need to prove myself to other authors and readers (that I am not just writing fluffy, silly kid stories) is a pressure I put on myself and need to let go. I heart young adult novels. I do not think I’m too old for them. And I read and write young adult novels because I enjoy them. Case closed.

4. I haven’t told someone not to read my books in a long time.

If you’ve followed my publishing journey over the last three and a half years, you know I have this terrible habit of telling people not to read my books. Why? It's complicated.

But I can report that while the urge to slap my book out of a reader's hands is still a daily struggle, I am much more relaxed about it. And instead of telling people not to read my books, I simply say thank you when they mention it to me. Progress. Imagine that?

5. This is me. This is my struggle.

Welcome to the party.

I am not a fan of social media. Large group settings (even online) are exhausting. I dislike sharing my thoughts on social media and struggle to feel like what I say online is important or interesting.

This is me. This is what I struggle with. In the past, when these feelings have overwhelmed me, I have disappeared: no tweets, no Instagram posts, no book promotions, no blog posts, nothing. How it comes across I can venture to guess, but the reality is I hide because I am uncomfortable and unsure.

Some might think I’m making this up. Others might think I’m just quirky. The reality is everything I share online feels like a tiny piece of myself I am giving away. And don’t even get me started on publishing my books.

So why do it? Why does it matter? How do I turn this one into a positive?

Let's take these one at a time:

Why do I do this? Because I wrote two books. And I have so many more inside of me.

Why does it matter? Because I care.

How do I turn this into a positive? Keep moving forward despite my desire to give up and hide.

Because one day I will regret hiding. None of these things make me weak. None of these things make me broken. We all struggle. Even if we don’t want to admit it. And deep down we all hope someone will see us and tell us what we do matters.

But what if we decided we mattered to ourselves? What if we did the things not because someone else validated our work, but because we decided our work is important and good? What if we moved forward no matter the pressure of the status quo or our irrational thoughts?

These are my positives. These are the things I'm taking with me into the second half of this year. And I hope you too can believe that you matter, that your work matters, and that we all can and will do the things.

May: A Time Of Reflection And Moving Forward

Next month All The What Ifs will turn three and a half years old, making me a published author for just as long. While my journey down the path of publication hasn’t been picture perfect, I can say without hesitation the decision to publish All The What Ifs was one of the best decisions I have made. Along the way I have learned some things.

Here’s a few:

Publishing a book is not for the weak of heart.

Whether you’re self-published (like me) or traditionally published, committing to publishing a novel filled with little pieces of yourself for the world to judge is terrifying. From the naysayers who will tell you it’s too hard to the people who will avoid you, there will be moments you’ll feel like a fool for even trying. Dark moments when it feels like the only person who cares about your book being published is you and maybe that’s why you should just give up.

And here’s my advice to fellow writers who are struggling right now: Fight harder. You caring matters most. And it’s a worthy reason to work toward publishing a book. So tune out those naysayers, find your tribe, and hold tight to your dream. It’s worthy. You are worthy. Now work your ass off to achieve that goal.

You might want to hide and that doesn’t make you weak.

Being honest with the people in my life about publishing has been a difficult journey. From the people who doubted I could write a coherent sentence (and let me know), to family and friends who would flat-out ignore me when I talked about writing a book, to those who have judged me for my subject matters or the genre I’ve chosen to publish, my default has been to hide my head in the sand and never, ever discuss my books.

Which is a shame, since I love my characters and I’m proud of my books. So here’s more unsolicited advice to any fellow authors out there feeling the desire to hide: Don’t. Pull your head out of the sand, stand up tall and proud, and look the world straight in the face (even if your brain is screaming at you to shove your head back in the sand). Again: keep pushing forward.

You matter. Your book matters. Do the thing.

It’s that simple and that terrifying, my friends. Your book. Your passions. YOU matter. There’s no right or wrong book to publish. There’s no worthy or unworthy story. Twilight is as worthy as To Kill A Mockingbird. Don’t believe I know what I’m talking about? Then don’t take my word for it, here’s a few published authors who agree:

Sylvia Plath: And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.

Neil Gaiman: The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.

Madeleine L’Engle: You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book will be too difficult for grown-ups, then you write it for children.

So write, my friends. Write because you love it. Write because you care. Write because only you can tell your story. Don’t worry about the rules. Don’t worry about what people will think or say. Shove aside the voices in your head and all the people around you making you doubt your goals and create a book you are proud of. Then publish the damn thing, one way or another.

Remember: Be you. Warts and all. The world is a better place for it. And your dream is oh-so-very-worthy.

April: A Month Of Planning And Plotting

Of Lies and Zombies turned one-year-old this month! For what feels like forever, I worked hard on writing, editing, and publishing All The What Ifs and Of Lies and Zombies. It sucked up all my writing time and plotting energy. And if I'm honest, completely sapped me.

Yet during that time I had plenty of new story ideas. With my first two books shipped off into the great big world of publishing, it’s time to get back into the swing of exploring new ideas and finishing up current works in progress.

What are these stories? I’m glad you asked!

Magic Story of Magic (a working title): Magic Story of Magic is an adult fiction romance/coming of age story about a young woman named Lily Banks. Magic Story of Magic is a blast to write. It’s rooted in the real world, but filled with impossible magic tricks. It has lame jokes and kissing and to repeat MAGIC TRICKS (a thing I’m having far too much fun writing). The first draft of Magic Story is SO CLOSE to being done. I'll have updates on the cover, book blurb, and more soon!

Something Dumb To Do (the third book of the Richmond High series): The third book in the Richmond High series Something Dumb To Do is Quinn’s story. Told is a present and past switch off, Something Dumb To Do is the story of a girl trying to avoid her parents’ mistakes, while she denies the pesky truth that sometimes the past isn’t what we perceived. The first draft of Something Dumb To Do is roughly halfway complete and will include characters from All The What Ifs and Of Lies and Zombies! But I ain’t sharing who. Something Dumb To Do’s cover is already in the works. It’s so stinking cute, and I can’t wait to share it.

Book Four of the Richmond High series: This book has me in knots already, and I can’t say much about it yet. But here’s what I will share: Ashley Morgan is back but as a secondary character who will play a pivotal role in a high school girl’s life as she faces a major, life alerting decision. Sound familiar? Kind of. And that’s all I will say for now.

I’ve got more ideas in the works (for example an adult fiction with a social media twist and a fantasy story inspired by a Death Cab for Cutie song). I could keep going, but we'd be here for a long time.

Not only have I been plotting new stories, but I am blogging regularly again! There are four new monthly features on Ang Writes: Ang’s Top Five which features five books based on a random theme, a book review of an indie favorite, On My E-reader a shout out to the ebooks I’ve bought but haven’t read yet, and a monthly wrap up that's ever changing.

It’s a year of words, my friends! Reconnecting with the joy of writing just for fun without strings attached or publishing goals looming over my head. It’s amazing and freeing. And I can’t wait to share more with you all soon!

If you'd like to keep up with all my publishing news, sign up for my newsletter!

Happy Birthday, Of Lies and Zombies!

Today Of Lies and Zombies is one year old!

amazon
goodreads

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you readers and reviewers for your encouragement over the last year! Thank you for buying a copy. Thank you for telling others about Of Lies and Zombies. Thank you for reaching out to me and letting me know what you think of Katie Bell. Thank you for writing a review. Thank you for sharing pictures of the book. Thank you for your encouragement and kindness. I am forever grateful. And I'll never stop saying thank you!

Haven't read Of Lies and Zombies yet?

Here's the book blurb!

And a link to Amazon.

You're welcome! 

Book Description: 

Katie Bell has a plan: the ‘Epic Summer of Epicness Before Senior Year' plan. There will be late night parties with her best friend Trevor and Grandma Frankie’s Chunky Monkey Chocolate Chip Cookies for breakfast. And maybe, just maybe, she’ll run into her nameless savior from Feldman’s party. Things she will be avoiding: her estranged father and workaholic mother 

Katie has a golden rule: when life gets too real avoid it by lying. But on the last day of junior year, when the lies won't stick and reality closes in, she is forced to run as far and as fast as she can straight into oddly familiar Logan. When Logan asks Katie to help him film a zombie movie, Katie jumps at the chance. 

Because Katie’s got a new plan: the ‘Avoid Reality at ALL Costs' plan.
Unfortunately, reality doesn’t play by Katie’s rules.

Newsletter Exclusive: A Brand New All The What Ifs Bonus Chapter

That's right, folks! This month's exclusive content for my newsletter subscribers is an All The What Ifs bonus chapter.

Not the exclusive All The What Ifs bonus chapter from Lucas's point of view at the back of Of Lies and Zombies, which I'm sure you've all read (*wink wink*) and loved! But a brand new scene that takes place the day before from Ashley's point of view. And y'all thought Christmas was over!

What's that? You'd like a little taste of what's to come? I guess if you insist:

what if ... we fell apart?

“Stop hoarding the cookie butter, Ashley. Or we’ll be beefing.”
Ashley Morgan looked up from the paper plate cradled in her lap, her eyes locking on her best friend Natalie. The clear blue sky overhead gazed down on the friends. The afternoon sun baked into the ground. Heat hung heavy in the air, leeching life out of the world, turning the grass brown, cracking the soil.
Ashley’s eyes narrowed on Natalie who jabbed a plastic knife at her.
“Beefing,” Natalie repeated, dragging out the word.
“Nat.” Ashley gestured toward the unopened jar of cookie butter on the quilted blanket next to her knee. “I haven’t even opened the jar.”
“I’m staking my claim early.”
“To the whole jar of cookie butter?”
“Cookie butter mine, peanut butter yours. Don’t hate, cause I thought of it first.” Natalie huffed. “And you’re supposed to be the smart one.”
“Clearly I am not.”

Annnnnd scene. Well. Not really. There's more. But my lips are sealed. However, sign-up for my monthly newsletter and you'll receive the rest of this scene in your inbox this week and learn what Natalie and Ashley are up to. Plus when you sign-up you'll be entered for a chance to win an Of Lies and Zombies paperback!

It's a win-win, my friends. Don't think! Sign-up here:

January In Review

January is coming to a close. This month has been an excursion in staying consistent and being a cheerleader for myself. Two things I suck at. But I am determined to fake it until I make it. It’s been a quiet, successful month during which I’ve reconnected with my love of book blogging, worked on making my work a priority, and stayed the course even when my brain screamed at me to quit. Here are a few things that kept me sane along the way.

Good Shows

We started watching Brooklyn 99.
Love. Love. Love. All the characters.
Especially Captain Holt.

Good Music
Like Weezer's Teal Album.
Which I'm in love with and have listened to a billion times.

Good Food

I heart soup.
And winter is the perfect season for it.
Here's a quick, easy Ramen recipe our family adores:

And here's a pic from when we made it last week.

As you can see, we skip the cherry tomatoes.
But mushroom broth is a MUST.
We've tried it without and it's not the same.

Good Books

goodreads

As I mentioned in my top five comfort reads post,
Ms. Allen is an author I reread often.
This month I finished Lost Lake for the millionth time.
When I finished the book, I thought about rereading it. True story.
You can check out the other books I read this month on GoodReads.

Good Words
This month I stopped focusing on word count goals and publishing deadlines. I focused instead on a brand new All The What Ifs bonus chapter. A heads up for those of you who’ve read the All The What Ifs bonus chapter in Of Lies and Zombies, the new scene I am working on takes place the day before and is from Ashley’s perspective! And if that wasn't awesome enough, the new scene will be in next month’s newsletter! You. Are. Welcome.

Writing about Ashley and her friends again felt like coming home. It reminded how much I loved writing All The What Ifs and how excited I am to finish the Richmond High Series.

It’s a solid start to a good year. And I’m thankful for it plus looking forward to next month and the awesome to come.

How was your month, my friends?

ang has got your newsletter sneak peek right here

What you'll find in this month's newsletter:

• an Ang ramble 
• a review and pics of Of Lies and Zombies 
• a pic of the best dog in the world 
• ebook sale info 
• a giveaway winner 
• how to enter a giveaway for an Of Lies and Zombies paperback

Dog Days of Summer 

Summer is in full swing, my friends. The ground is lava. Our trash is unspeakably disgusting. I could go on and on but I will spare you. Summer is that magical time when the world is too bright and brittle and my brain is on overload. Funny how the season that brings so much joy to so many people manages to weigh me down. We humans are weird.

But despite my bah-humbug feelings and longing for not hell outside I've been trying my best to see my world from a new perspective. It's a work in progress. One that's uncomfortable as I come face to face with facts about myself. The most difficult fact I've been struggling with is I do not feel I have the right to publish and so I hide. I hide behind my responsibilities. I hide behind helping others. I hide behind feeling unimportant and not special and no different from everyone else and the weight of other people's responsibilities and problems. I hide because it's been my knee jerk reaction since I was a kid and now I feel stuck. I prefer for people to ignore me and my books. It's my comfort zone. 

Writing is hard. Editing is a nightmare. Publishing is gut-wrenching. But the hardest thing I've struggled with since publishing All The What Ifs is feeling like an impostor.

This isn't a new revelation. However the weight of it is suffocating me. And I'm left with the realization that how I feel is okay, hiding doesn't make me a terrible person, and I am only stuck for as long as I allow myself to be.

As this too bright, too hot, too much summer continues to press down around me, I'm determined more than ever to allow myself the right to these feelings and work toward moving forward. One messy, overthinking step at a time.

Want more?

Heck yeah you do!

Click here to read the rest of this month's newsletter.

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of lies and zombies cover reveal

*cracks open blogger*

*sweeps away cobwebs*

*opens post composer*

*inserts image*

*smiles*

*types*

coming soon

April 2018

check back on Monday for the pre-order announcement

add to goodreads here

*rubs hands together*

*clicks publish*