September: A Month Of Good Things

Autumn is upon us.

For some it’s a harbinger of doom. A time to dread, autumn snatches away the golden days of summer, offering nothing but cold, dreary days without joy. To others it’s a time to celebrate scarves and pumpkin spice, boots and rom-coms, cooler weather and holiday goodness to come.

To me, autumn has always been about family. A time when—despite the hustle of life—we have opportunities to slow down and be together: carving pumpkins, baking pies, watching movies. As the desert attempts to free itself of hot nights and even hotter days, autumn offers hope.

Last year around this time I did not embrace hope. I allowed myself to drown in a sea of self-doubt and despair. Focusing on all the wrong things, I was controlled by every single one of my negative feelings and thoughts—my autumn joy stolen.

If there’s one thing life has taught me it's that hope is fragile.

Being a positive person might appear easy to those standing outside looking in. But let me assure you, it is not. Every second must be a driving force toward seeking the positives in life. No matter how small and fragile they may feel.

At times, it feels like a foolish endeavor—backhanded comments people make can leave you feeling silly, impractical, lacking. In these moments I am learning to accept others' opinions of me as just that: opinions. Their assumptions of what they *think* it means to be a positive person. Not reality.

This September I struggled with doubts and fears. Just as I did last year. The difference is I embraced my positives without shame, tuning out the misconceptions.

Instead, I talked about the books I love and acknowledged that while there are some who think my bookish taste is childish and silly, that’s their problem not mine. I revised Magic Story Of Magic and accepted the fact that it’s a love story—plain and simple. It won’t change the world and some might think it’s ridiculous. That’s okay. It’s mine and I love it. I slowed down and ignored the comments about how great it must be to be a stay-at-home mom with so much free time on my hands. My family knows how hard I work and I know how hard I work too. That’s all that matters. I embraced my love of mismatched socks and young adult books and didn’t feel the need to hide the fact that I still long to be Rainbow Brite. My age has never dictated what I do, say, or love. So why start now?

But mostly I took a step back and thought about what is important to me: being honest or being what everyone thinks I should be?

September was a good month filled with doubts and struggles and fears. It taught me once again that life isn’t perfect and it isn’t fair, but it is good. And the good you have to fight for. A lesson I learned long ago from my friend Ashley Morgan. It’s a lesson I’ll continue to learn day in and day out.

Happy autumn, friends. I hope it brings you joy. No matter how big or small that joy might be, I hope it gets you through the cold dreary days ahead filled with pumpkin spice everything and all the holiday hustle and bustle life brings your way.