- an Ang ramble
- a review and pics of Of Lies and Zombies
- a pic of the best dog in the world
- ebook sale info
- a giveaway winner
- how to enter a giveaway for an Of Lies and Zombies paperback
Dog Days of Summer
Summer is in full swing, my friends. The ground is lava. Our trash is unspeakably disgusting. I could go on and on but I will spare you. Summer is that magical time when the world is too bright and brittle and my brain is on overload. Funny how the season that brings so much joy to so many people manages to weigh me down. We humans are weird.
But despite my bah-humbug feelings and longing for not hell outside I've been trying my best to see my world from a new perspective. It's a work in progress. One that's uncomfortable as I come face to face with facts about myself. The most difficult fact I've been struggling with is I do not feel I have the right to publish and so I hide. I hide behind my responsibilities. I hide behind helping others. I hide behind feeling unimportant and not special and no different from everyone else and the weight of other people's responsibilities and problems. I hide because it's been my knee jerk reaction since I was a kid and now I feel stuck. I prefer for people to ignore me and my books. It's my comfort zone.
Writing is hard. Editing is a nightmare. Publishing is gut-wrenching. But the hardest thing I've struggled with since publishing All The What Ifs is feeling like an impostor.
This isn't a new revelation. However the weight of it is suffocating me. And I'm left with the realization that how I feel is okay, hiding doesn't make me a terrible person, and I am only stuck for as long as I allow myself to be.
As this too bright, too hot, too much summer continues to press down around me, I'm determined more than ever to allow myself the right to these feelings and work toward moving forward. One messy, overthinking step at a time.
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